Remembering My Grandfather

I found out last night that my Grandfather passed away this week. He died in his bed and I am hoping he just slipped off while he was asleep. He was old but I really was not expecting it. Ike had talked to me in the past about how I might handle one of my Grandparent's passing away because up until this week, they were all living. The sadness I feel is not necessarily for his passing because he had such a wonderful long life and I really feel that he is happy right now, but it is that I did not do more while he was alive. Why did I take three weeks to answer his last letter? Why didn't I send more pictures of Brady? Why didn't Ike and I visit more. The last time we were able to see him was when Jackson was 6 months old. Couldn't we have found the time and money to go to Vermont at least one other time since then? I guess what I feel the most is guilt over things that are in the past and that I can't change. I know my Grandpa knew I loved him and I know he loved me but I still can't help but think I could do more. I feel so blessed to have had such an amazing Grandfather. The week after Brady was born I got a phone call from him. I was really surprised because he really never calls. He was a letter writer and that was how we did most of our communication. When I asked what his reason for calling was he said it was because he could not remember the last time he had heard my voice. I will cherish that memory forever. My Grandfather came to visit my family every summer for as long as I can remember. I can't remember a birthday where I didn't receive a hand made card with $5 dollars in it. I remember when I lost the check he gave me for graduation and when he re-wrote it, he deducted one cent as a lesson to me about the importance of hanging on to my money and not losing things. I can't think of a more remarkable man. He loved his family so much and we all loved him back. I remember when I was in high school and I was dating a guy and my Grandpa took me in our sun room and gave me a talk about realizing that there are lots of other guys out there and not getting too serious with this one. He was right :) I am going to miss my Grandpa and I think when I go to the mailbox I am still going to expect to see a letter from him. I am so blessed that I had him in my life. I know that I will see him again. I am so grateful for that. Until that time I know he is at peace and hopefully enjoying watching his great-grandchildren grow up.